A poor listener exhibits habits that suppress communication and create misunderstanding.
We can fake listening. A friend of ours caught her husband out when she noticed that he was faking while ‘listening’ to her. She suddenly threw in a statement like “and then I told her that I was going to leave you and run off with another man”, it took quite a while for him to register…
We can be selective in listening. In the song The Boxer, Paul Simon has a line that says, ‘a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest’. This could be true for both men and women.
A good listener will manifest an attitude of acceptance that will encourage communication, like giving focussed attention which says to your partner ‘you are my top priority’.