We spoke about the role of listening in communication, but we also need to know how to talk so that we can be understood.
Couples communicate differently. Some are more factual, and they have difficulty expressing emotions, on the other side of the spectrum, we have the emotional people who can hardly confine their emotions. Put two people who are on the opposite side of the spectrum together and misunderstanding is bound to happen.
Several issues could cause communication problems. For example – men could have been taught “cowboys don’t cry” growing up. A lady might have a poor self-concept which causes her to experience unintended rejection.
Emotional intimacy involves sharing your feelings, emotions and needs with someone who is committed to you. If it is difficult for you, begin with entrusting yourself to God and share your emotions and feelings with Him because He understands. Practice this by being totally honest with God – use David’s Psalms.
There are three steps towards expressing oneself – determine what you want to say, how you want to say it and when you want to say it.
Let us look at WHAT – my assumptions, beliefs, desires, dreams, and needs.
HOW – Use “I” messages. I feel neglected, I believe in Jesus, my dreams are for us to be happily married.
WHEN – when you are relaxed, not before going to sleep. Plan a time.
God’s power is available to you when you risk being vulnerable.