5 Threats to Oneness – Difficult Adjustments

Session 2 | Episode 1

5 Threats to oneness

Difficult Adjustments

Every marriage is either moving towards greater oneness or drifting towards isolation. Maintaining oneness is a critical issue in marriage

There are threats that can, and often do destroy oneness in marriage.

Issues that before marriage were no problem, can become threats to oneness.

Difficult adjustments threaten our oneness. The first adjustment we will consider is Contrasting backgrounds. We grow up in homes with different value systems.

Difficult adjustments threaten our oneness. The first adjustment we will consider is Contrasting backgrounds. We grow up in homes with different value systems.

Difficult adjustments threaten our oneness. The first adjustment we will consider is Contrasting backgrounds. We grow up in homes with different value systems.

On our first night in our first apartment as we got ready to get into bed, I sat on the bed to get my shoes off… I heard my husband say “One doesn’t sit on a bed.”  Well that was news to me. I was allowed to sit on my bed growing up, my husband on the other hand was taught it was a no-no. We could fortunately sort that one out – we now both sit on our bed!

  • Vocational pressures can bring about a slow drifting apart.
  • Even religion can become an issue.
  • And then we differ on how we spend money – my husband says I am a magician – I make our money disappear.

Another adjustment that can cause problems is that we have differing expectations about marriage: we could, for example,  differ on the roles of men and a women in marriage. We could differ in how we show affection and love. We can have vastly different expectations on sexual performance.

When couples fail to make necessary adjustments to move towards oneness, isolation will be the result.

Presented by

Isolde Swanepoel

Isolde Swanepoel

Isolde studied Speech Pathology and Audiology at the University of Pretoria and taught at the same department until she and Quintus joined the staff of Campus Crusade for Christ in 1980.

They are so aware of God’s goodness and grace as they celebrated their 50th Anniversary in 2019. They are the parents of three children and three children-in-love! And Grandparents to 9.

Since 1996 Quintus and Isolde have been involved with FamilyLife, the marriage and family strategy of Campus Crusade for Christ.

Isolde Swanepoel

Isolde Swanepoel

Isolde studied Speech Pathology and Audiology at the University of Pretoria and taught at the same department until she and Quintus joined the staff of Campus Crusade for Christ in 1980.

They are so aware of God’s goodness and grace as they celebrated their 50th Anniversary in 2019. They are the parents of three children and three children-in-love! And Grandparents to 9.

Since 1996 Quintus and Isolde have been involved with FamilyLife, the marriage and family strategy of Campus Crusade for Christ.

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