Life after divorce – Part 3

Session 13 | Episode 3

Forgiving myself and others

Good day, My name is Gerda Snyman and I am talking about life after divorce. Last time I talked about putting my focus on God and trusting Him to work everything out for the good.

Today I will talk about forgiveness. One of the most difficult things to do, especially if you are trying to do that on your own. It was only when I put my focus on God, that I could start the process of forgiving. I had to forgive myself for breaking God’s law and making so many mistakes. I didn’t like the person that I became. Then I had to forgive my husband for his part and also some friends that didn’t support me through this difficult time. I wrote them all letters where I could pour out my heart and emotions – I didn’t send them of course, but I could exactly say what I felt. I talked to God about what I wrote – He already knew.

It was only when I put my focus on God, that I could start the process of forgiving. I had to forgive myself for breaking God’s law and making so many mistakes. I didn’t like the person that I became.

It was only when I put my focus on God, that I could start the process of forgiving. I had to forgive myself for breaking God’s law and making so many mistakes. I didn’t like the person that I became.

I was reminded of the parable in Matthew 18 where the forgiven servant threw his debtor in prison. It helped me to see things in perspective and to forgive as I am forgiven. Most of the time I struggled to pray, so I just read the letters to God and told Him, that is how I feel. Other times I read through the Psalms and prayed them back to God asking Him to help me overcome my sadness, emptiness, loneliness and to honestly forgive. He was faithful and helped me. I could forgive and the healing could start.

I realised that forgiveness is not a once off event but a process of willingness to let go and be free. To not hold on to grievances or fall into self-pity. Forgiveness is not instantaneous but takes courage and perseverance in faith and trust that God will lead us through. Now after more than ten years, I sometimes get angry and have to forgive again. By God’s grace and help I am able to forgive and live a full life again.

Next time I will talk about how to live a full life again as a single person.

Presented by

Gerda Snyman

Gerda Snyman

Gerda Snyman has served as the Communications Manager at Campus Crusade for Christ South Africa since 2012 until September 2020. She was responsible for social media, the website, and managing the media department. She now stepped down from that position and joined LeaderImpact to serve and reach people in the workplace. From the time she joined staff in 2003 she was involved with the leadership ministry of CCC. This ministry reaches out to leaders in the workplace, government and diplomatic corps, helping them find their full potential and meaning in life.

Gerda Snyman

Gerda Snyman

Gerda Snyman has served as the Communications Manager at Campus Crusade for Christ South Africa since 2012 until September 2020. She was responsible for social media, the website, and managing the media department. She now stepped down from that position and joined LeaderImpact to serve and reach people in the workplace. From the time she joined staff in 2003 she was involved with the leadership ministry of CCC. This ministry reaches out to leaders in the workplace, government and diplomatic corps, helping them find their full potential and meaning in life.

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