5 Threats to Oneness – Extramarital Affairs

Session 2 | Episode 5

5 Threats to oneness

Extramarital affairs threaten Oneness

An extramarital affair is an escape from reality or a search for fulfilment outside the marriage.

We are seduced by our culture into believing that we deserve complete fulfilment and perfect happiness. Is this not what we see in the movies? The result of this is that we are led to having an improper perception of reality. We start comparing our expectations and fantasies with real life, and then rather question the reality and not our fantasies. This can lead to extramarital affairs.

An extramarital affair is an escape from reality or a search for fulfilment outside the marriage. We are seduced by our culture into believing that we deserve complete fulfilment and perfect happiness.

An extramarital affair is an escape from reality or a search for fulfilment outside the marriage. We are seduced by our culture into believing that we deserve complete fulfilment and perfect happiness.

Extramarital affairs can take on many different forms:

A love affair is certainly the most destructive of the different affairs, followed closely by a fantasy affair which includes pornography or an obsession with love stories.

We can have an affair with our career – we become so busy building a career that our partners and children must take the back seat. A materialism affair is closely related to the Career affair – we start chasing money instead of relationships. 

When we spend too much time on hobbies or community projects, even good things like church meetings and Bible studies, but our partners and children are neglected we have an activities affair. There is even a family affair – that is when our extended family place undue pressure on us to spend time with them.

The escape to extramarital affairs, no matter which one we escape into, is doomed to lead to isolation.
This is the last episode of this session and has a project that can be completed. 

“I pass a lot of houses on my way home - some pretty, some expensive, some inviting - but my heart always skips a beat when I turn down the road and see my house nestled against the hill.

I guess I’m especially proud of the house and the way it looks because I drew the plans myself. It started out large enough for us; I even had a study - two teenage boys now reside in there. And it had a guest room - my girl and nine dolls are permanent guests. It had a small room Peg had hoped would be her sewing room - the boys swinging on the Dutch door have claimed this room as their own.

So, it really doesn’t look right now as if I’m much of an architect. But it will get larger again - one by one they will go away to work, to college, to service, to their own houses, and then there will be room - a guest room, a study, and a sewing room for just the two of us.

But it won’t be empty - every corner, every room, every nick in the coffee table will be crowded with memories. Memories of picnics, parties, Christmases, bedside vigils, summers, fires, winters, going barefoot, leaving for vacation, cats, conversations, black eyes, graduations, first dates, ball games, arguments, washing dishes, bicycles, dogs, boat rides, getting home from vacation, meals, rabbits, and a thousand other things that fill the lives of those who would raise five.

And Peg and I will sit quietly by the fire and listen to the laughter in the walls.”

“Laughter in the Walls” Copyright 1969 by Bob Benson (used with permission)

Presented by

Isolde Swanepoel

Isolde Swanepoel

Isolde studied Speech Pathology and Audiology at the University of Pretoria and taught at the same department until she and Quintus joined the staff of Campus Crusade for Christ in 1980.

They are so aware of God’s goodness and grace as they celebrated their 50th Anniversary in 2019. They are the parents of three children and three children-in-love! And Grandparents to 9.

Since 1996 Quintus and Isolde have been involved with FamilyLife, the marriage and family strategy of Campus Crusade for Christ.

Isolde Swanepoel

Isolde Swanepoel

Isolde studied Speech Pathology and Audiology at the University of Pretoria and taught at the same department until she and Quintus joined the staff of Campus Crusade for Christ in 1980.

They are so aware of God’s goodness and grace as they celebrated their 50th Anniversary in 2019. They are the parents of three children and three children-in-love! And Grandparents to 9.

Since 1996 Quintus and Isolde have been involved with FamilyLife, the marriage and family strategy of Campus Crusade for Christ.

Where to listen

Share it

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.