When our kids were growing up we had ‘S’ words that they weren’t allowed to use. They couldn’t call people ‘stupid’ or tell someone to ‘shut up,’ along with a few other ‘S’ words. For some women, submission is one of those ‘S’ words.
There is a lot of misunderstanding with submission, with both men and women.
Biblically, the same passage in which women are commanded to submit, the man is commanded to love his wife as Christ loves the church. Christ gave his life for the church. If a man truly follows this mandate, his assignment is just as difficult as ours.
Submission does not mean to be inferior, to lose one’s identity and become a non-person, to feel used, to be passive or allow your husband to violate the law or become abusive. Biblically it never encourages a woman to enable sin.
Submission does mean to free your husband to lead by showing a willingness to follow his leadership. Submission empowers your husband to lead by encouraging his initiative.
I like to think of the illustration of an umbrella. The man acts as an umbrella to protect the family. If we step out from under the umbrella of his headship, we remove ourselves from his protection and God’s. Remember, he will answer to God for the choices he makes in leading his family; the wife will answer for how she followed the leader God put over her.
One definition of submission is: “The wife ducking so God can reach her husband.”
As we maintain God’s perspective on submission, we find it is not a limitation, but a doorway to a stronger relationship.